Memories

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‘All parents keep secrets from their children.’ – Scott Turow, Ordinary Heroes

All things eventually become used; they age, they wither, they turn to rust. What do the things left behind say to you?

10 – 15 minutes.

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One thought on “Memories

  1. I remember sitting in a room, the furniture was decorated in a lacey off white, and a mini grand piano sat on the right side of the wall. At least were I sat that is where the piano lied. I remember playing on that piano and practicing till everyone in the house was done listening, but it was what I thought I wanted to do. What I didn’t realize then is that I was never a person who would be able to be held down to one thing.

    The thing about this room is that it was a room that we would never be seen all together in unless something important was about to happen. My mom used to sit in the room and read or talk to her family on the phone for hours. She could talk away for as long as you could forget about her, and it is sad to think that the connections that she had then are now forever lost. My dad would only pass by the room, never sitting; it was if he knew the room belonged to someone else. My brother would only come in when he wanted to bother me, and I was only in the room to play that piano. My best memories where of me practicing and my brother sneaking in through the french doors to distract me, or when I would steal one of mother’s lighters to light an incense on the glass end table.

    On that day, everyone sat in the room. Mother and father sat together on the couch and my brother sat on the adjacent wall and I remained in the corner, distant, but open to hear what needed to be said. We always had this room in our house. It was the room that told us that we were going to move, the room that would uproot our lives and change it to something completely different. This time was the exception, we weren’t moving, but something else was moving to us.
    On this day we learned the biggest secret that we couldn’t even imagine. On that day we learned something that would never have approached our minds. We had a sister and she was knocking on our doorsteps to be a part of our lives.

    Months passed and my initial excitement disappeared as it seemed like she was trying to destroy my life to make her a part of the family. She would tattle on my musical choices and then my favorite cds would go missing because I was no longer allowed to listen to them. The funny part was that three months earlier I could listen to Sublime without having an issue, because my mother was open to let me discover my choices and then quickly she became closed minded when someone else became a part of our life. I hated her for this, and I began to hate my brother who was infatuated with her, because to me it seemed she was only competing with me.

    It is amazing how secrets ruin people’s lives. Once she had arrived I derived my own theory of why she decided to show up; Guilt. Guilt because she had a mother who gave her up and guilt because she decided to abort a child. I came to my own assumptions because I didn’t understand why she wanted to find my home. Why find a mother who didn’t care about you in the beginning? Now I begin to understand, since now I am a part of a child’s life who I am not the mother of. And I always hope that she will look to me before her biological mother.

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