I have been in a slump the past couple weeks. I have mentioned an impending move before with my excitement surrounding the idea of putting down deeper roots in a location that we could see ourselves living, but a couple days ago, Friday I believe, it was staring me in the face. The taste was on my lips and my fingers were typing away confirming that it was a done deal. I was certain that my fate had been sealed. I went about my weekend, waiting for Monday to come, trying to come to terms with this new arrangement. I did not seek verbal confirmation that this was a done deal. I did not want to know. I was trying to defeat my own demons on this move. I was searching for my positive mindset.
The question you are asking: “Why such hesitation for a move you have been waiting for?” It has nothing to do with not wanting to leave this desert wasteland, but everything to do with the uncertainty of the impending move. For starters it was in a location that I do not find as tempting as others. I know that this area of the country may come into play again, but for now I am not ready. The major upside to this region is that it has connections to family and friends. Yes, it would have been nice to live closer to the people that we loved but at what cost? There was no guarantee that this base was going to be open for the long term. We were searching for a place to rest 2 to 5 years while waiting for our dream destination to open, but this location may only be available six months. The idea of relocating twice in one year is a scary thought. I believe if this was not the case then the outcome would have been drastically different. We were blinded by the idea of being closer to loved ones and the huge advancement this base could offer.
I did something smart. I kept an open mind, hiding my own feelings when discussing and took a step back to look at all angles. I mentally listed the pros and cons, presented realistic hypotheticals, offered questions that would linger in the air. Before I continue know that I would have been on board 100% with whatever decision was made. I trust the judgement of my husband. I do believe that everyone has a period of tunnel vision when making a decision but come out the other side full of wisdom. I know there were a lot of moving parts in this decision process and I do not envy having to make the final call. I left the final call to my husband. He has a good heart, a strong mind and only he knows what he needs as far as career happiness. I only see the family aspect. I do not struggle to keep both in balance like he does but I know that my happiness, the happiness of his children weigh heavily. He decided to continue his search for a location that will better suit everyone needs.
Was it the right choice? I know I let out a sigh of relief and we have new prospects that have my curiosity peaked! I will leave you with one of my favorite poems.