Just a little something I was thinking about yesterday when I was driving in the car. I had a friend have a situation and it made me ponder the aggressiveness that some people hit when an argument or issue arises. This is just me blabbing away about my thoughts on the subject of compromise.
Meet in the middle. I hear this phrase time and time again. Often it is directly associated with two people arguing over an issue when trying to find common ground. The question is what is the middle? I have never seen anybody discover true compromise in search for this spot, but I have witnessed one half of the argument sacrificing a little bit more than the other. When do you stop pushing for your side? What is consider an acceptable middle? I imagine it must be more of a range than an exact point on a line, but we will come back to this later.
Before we can argue about what is considered the middle between two people in an argument, an idea, a political view, a way to raise their children, which sacrifices are more acceptable to give up in order to be a couple together, and authority rules to follow we must first decide if our society even considers the middle anymore. Ultimatums are tossed around so quickly, without thought of consequences ,frequently followed by a “my way or the highway” threat. Too often we find ourselves unwilling to settle causing blindness to the hurt that we may cause ourselves and others. I read an article that focused on the idea of compromise between two people as being uneven and continuously dominated by one specific partner. Perhaps the question is not are you able to reach common ground in a given altercation but if you are the dominatrix or the submissive? If that’s true what is the safe word when the air fills with anger, hatred, and resistance to give in ultimately leading to regret because winning the argument was more important?
I believe in every social situation there are two distinctive types of people. On one hand you have the group that demands a little bit more out of everybody around them – the dominatrix. On the other you have the group who’s willing to give a little bit more of themselves to others – the submissive. This is not an argument for the survival of the fittest debate but instead a necessary means of coexisting as a human race. Of course we will always have those who take it to the extreme. At any given point in time you can find your Hitler’s, Stalin’s and Mussolini’s but you always have your elected to be uneducated, rats, and doormats in the world. You do not want to be an extremist on either end in this scenario but rather hope to find yourself somewhere in the middle. Funny that in this instant the middle is the better bargain.
Now back to the middle. I believe the middle is a range that is constantly moving and I agree that there is always a dominant and a submissive person in a situation. I keep in mind that a dominant person is not dominate one hundred percent of the time and at times will be submissive to another. This could be due to lack of education in the specific area or lack of interest, but ultimately you are who you are. Whichever side you land on try to remember that compromise looks more like 60-40 or 70-30 not 50-50 and certainly does not mean you are being walked all over or doing the walking!
Where do I land? What can I say? I am more of a giver than a taker but will take when it involves the well being of my family. True mama bear status over here!