Furry Frenzy: Lewis & Clark

Finally it was my husbands day off.  My husband  picked up overtime to cover for one of the pilots while they summer vacationed.  Currently vacations are not on our mind, impending moves are, and extra money is never a bad thing.  On our first day off we went out for brunch and found ourselves hankering for some new scenery, a different middle to our day, an extremely random alteration of our routine. Storms were rolling in, removing hiking, fishing and camping with the girls as quickly as the rain hit the tops of our heads. Before we knew it we were standing at the doors to the Village Pet Shop.

As we walked through the doors the girls quickly scattered throughout the store. My Adventure Girl found herself at each cage, talking and smiling at each animal as she passed. My Princess played with the new kittens and the snakes.  She had set her eyes on a pinkish albino corn-snake and Thing zoned in on the puppy pens. The pet shop had the animal variety you would expect to find in a small town plus some oddities such as prairie dogs and sugar gliders.  The shop even had the added adventure of an escaped red boa constrictor slithering around.

The shop owner, easily over 70 and missing one of her front teeth,  filled the store with several kid volunteers ranging between 11 and 14 to lighten her maintenance load for the store and animals.  After commending her for doing something awesome for the youth in our community she only offered one response, “I do it to keep them out of the meth labs.”   The tweens walked in your shadow, overly eager to know what was on your mind while spewing price information out of their mouths every time you made eye contact.  Now I know what it feels like to be the prey.

We decided to leave the store empty handed, although, my husband had fallen in love with the ferrets at the store.  They were overly friendly and desensitized to the annoyance of children thanks to the tween’s help.  After discussion, looking over our budget, hypothetically planning a room they could play in, and and receiving the answers to our questions about the ferrets medical records over the phone we packed the girls back into the car.

The girls quickly ran back to their furry friends they made earlier in the day.  We called them over to meet the pair of ferrets we had our sights on.  They each took turns holding and petting the ferrets.  We had made our decision.  The ferrets were coming home with us.  As my husband dealt with all the fun ferret stuff I found myself needing to use the restroom. I asked one of the tweens if they had one.  She guided me to the the left back corner of the store.  It had shelves of movies on two walls, a desk holding a tv and dvd player, and two doors.  One door led to the bathroom while the other said, “Adults Only”. I did not think much of it, chalking it up to where the office and safe must be located at.

When leaving the bathroom I found myself a little curious about the movies.  You could see the entire pet store from the back corner and vice versa so I assumed animal care movies or surveillance DVDs lined the walls.  I leaned over the desk only to be greeted by a topless, dirty Jazzmine.  At least that is what the DVD said her name was under the title “Double Dicked & Filthy”. In an instance it all clicked.  My eyes glanced over the spines of the cases, I stepped back and looked at the “Adult Only” warnings once more, and realized that this was not just any pet shop it was a porn and pet shop.  I quickly took a snap of the DVD running to share my discovery with my husband.  I whispered what just discovered, showing him the picture, and watched as his face turned red holding in the laughter.  This was the best discovery ever!

We approached the counter to finish purchasing our ferrets with guilty little smirks on our faces.  I am guessing this is how boys feel when they find their dad’s porn collection for the first time.  I walked out of the store first with the girls in tow while my husband followed with the ferrets.  As soon as the door closed behind us a roar of laughter emerged.  Porn and pets! Who knew?!? And those poor tweens!  I wonder if they knew the prices on the erotica too?

Lewis (white) & Clark (brown)

Lewis (white) & Clark (brown)

We named our ferrets Lewis and Clark because ferrets are explorers and in a sense our family is too.  Plus, we could not come to an other common ground as far as naming went.  Naming a kid is much easier than naming a pet.  The girls have adjusted nicely, eager to learn the responsibilities that are associated with pets, and shedding small tears when they have to leave them alone in the house to run errands with me.


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