Sometimes your insecurities can be overwhelming. I have a range of laughter between giggling to roaring depending on level of nervousness, shyness, or embarrassment. Most people are confused by this but I rather laugh it off than be consumed by it. I have a lot of self doubts that I try to bury behind a smile. I have a lot of feelings that I push down below the surface. I have control and an understanding that having these thoughts or desires does not mean they need to be spoken out loud. I know how to be the bigger person. I know how to let things go. I am comfortable with my measure of darkness and my windows of light. I am content with who I am.
I have a lot of newness in my life and changes on the verge besides the obvious impending move. There are questions lingering in the air about a new lifestyle, life goals, relationships, friendships and exploration. All these thought bubbles float around my mind absorbing into each other making it harder to see the outlines of the original questions. I am not sure that any original questions exist anymore, but instead a blur of hope and happiness. I am about to take a step in my first long term journey and could not be more excited or scared! I enjoy this feeling!
My anxiety has subsided now that my husband has returned and we have a house in sight. We just need to finish the normal procedures associated with closing. As long as all things go according to plan without hic-ups I feel that I can keep the anxiety at bay. With this area of stress wrapping up I am hoping my weight loss with progress again. I believe my lack of progress over the past two weeks was directly related to the weight of house hunting. The bright side is that I no longer have a need for any of the clothes I bought as temporary fixes because my smaller sized clothes fit again. That is the best feeling! Now lets kick off that last 10 lbs and get this muscle growth going on!