I have been experiencing an extreme overwhelming feeling of insecurity and self doubt. I guess that they are both one in the same, but I can not explain how this feeling has crept up on me or even why. I can think of a few changes in my life that have occurred over the past few months, weeks, and days, but these are not changes that have directly happened to me. Maybe it does not matter if they are my changes or not, because the people who are close to me do impact my life. I just wish I knew how to shake this. It could be a phase during this hormone influenced week. Being a girl is complicated around these times.
Sometimes our thoughts are backed by so much insecurity, that they create lies we believe.
I am constantly attempting to keep a positive outlook in my self improvement of physical, mental, and social health. It is easier said than done. I struggle to keep the idea that I deserve to have things such as success or opportunities ahead of the idea that I have already decided what my fate should be. It is difficult to overcome your own hardwired idea of what your life should be. I am terrified that if I try my hardest I still will not be good enough. I know that it can be done, because several people have beaten their own thoughts and lead great lives. I wish I knew what the secret was.
Like Karps over in the Pacific Northwest we have been having a fickle winter season as well. We did not see our first true signs of winter till mid January, experiencing -10 degree days to 60 degree days in between blizzards and snowmageddons. This week alone we have had thunderstorms, clear sunny 60 degree days, and are expecting to finish the week with 10 degree days and snow storms. I wish the weather would stay consistent. I do not mind if it remains cold and snowy for a while, but my coat closet is overwhelmed with different thicknesses of jackets that are on call. I am however longing to camp! Bring on spring!